Alicia Davis Porterfield: Limping Into Advent

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned . . .                                           Isaiah 9:2


It was dark, in those days. Very dark. Rome ruled Israel, the latest in a long line of conquerors. David’s line seemed all dried up after a succession of useless kings who led a great people to ruin. Caesar had ordered a new census with an eye toward his coffers.

The more people he could account for, the more taxes he could raise; the more taxes he could raise, the more people he could conquer. And so on and so on.

There was no one to challenge him in those days, no one who could shake the grip of the Roman Empire. Israel was a conquered people doing the will of a Caesar they neither chose nor revered nor trusted.

And so it was that Joseph put Mary on that donkey to take the long trip to his ancestral home of Bethlehem. They were not going for a great family reunion, tables laden with favorite foods and local delicacies. They were not headed home for a religious celebration with its own time honored traditions and deep roots in their faith.

They were doing the bidding of Caesar, whose command had come at just the wrong time for their lives, just when Mary’s pregnancy was coming to an end. When she should have been home in Nazareth surrounded by relatives and neighbors who could help her through the trial of labor, she was far from home, alone with only Joseph to attend her.

There was nothing about this story that seemed right, nothing that felt warm and homey and comforting. Mary got pregnant too early and under circumstances no one could believe. Joseph, confused and angry, was ready to quietly un-engage her, until an angel intervened.

And if that wasn’t enough, Caesar interrupted the whole thing with his call for a census, requiring a trip to Bethlehem, a place far from the home and family they knew. They would travel all that way, endangering themselves and the baby, so their conquerors could collect more tax money. This is not a happy story. Not yet.

If you are hurting or angry or confused this Advent season, you are in good company, at least according to the actual Biblical story. If you are lonely or grieving this Advent season, your story is their story, a people who had been conquered for centuries, wondering if God had forgotten them. If you can’t be full of good cheer and cringe at the thought of crowded malls and gift extravaganzas and to-do lists longer than your arm, you are not being a Scrooge or a Grinch.

In fact, you may know better than most the real struggle in this story we know almost too well. Perhaps those with troubled hearts might just have the ears to hear the depth of pain and longing the “holly jolly” approach has written right out of the story. This is the quiet story, not the one of hustle and bustle and ringing cash registers.

This is the story that makes room for pregnant teenagers and confused husbands and people who wonder what God is up to—or even sometimes, if God is up to anything, but who go anyway. This is the true story, according to scripture, the story that has almost been drowned out by demands for good cheer and forced festivities that actually have little to do with the nativity.

The birth of Christ was as far from a Hallmark Christmas special as it possibly could be. Don’t be snowed by the hype. If you are hurting in any way, if your heart is troubled, if you are limping instead of leaping, this is your story.

Advent is a time to prepare for the light coming into the darkness, which means that there is indeed darkness in the story. It does not have the last word, praise be to God. But the darkness is there, the struggle, the loss, the grief, the disappointment and anger–no matter how hard the marketers push to convince us otherwise.

If you are searching for that light, longing for it amidst the darkness, limping into Advent, you are not alone. The Bible tells us so.


Alicia Davis Porterfield serves, mothers, and writes in Wilmington, NC. After the recent death of her adored and adoring father, she is definitely limping into Advent.



7 thoughts on “Alicia Davis Porterfield: Limping Into Advent

  1. Excellent. I’d like to share this with my cousin who just lost her mother. Thank you, Alicia.
    “….His joy comes in the morning…”

  2. Alicia, This is a wonderful story for Advent. I might try to share it with Our WOW senior ladies Today!!

  3. It’s 3:58 am here in Armuchee, Ga, and I was awakened by your cousin Kristin with a whisper, ” honey, the cows are in our back yard again!” With our dogs going crazy, I put on my coat and head out the door to mend the fence and run the cows off ” again”! This being said, it’s just one more cloud that I didn’t really need!
    This blog has really touched my heart Alicia!! Just seeing you guys Thanksgiving, I really didn’t know what to say about the pain you all were feeling, nor did I go into my own. We smile and hug with an unspoken, “I understand”. We eat to much and go on our way with the pieces we have left.
    Tired, taxed, tempted, and beaten down, I am trying to be a good husband, father, and follow Gods plan for my life, but can’t seem to get out of the way of his great works and blessings he has for me.
    I try year after year to prepare my heart for Christmas, but it seems to get harder and harder to do so. By the time it gets here, I’m so beat down with the hustle and bustle that I say once again, “I missed it”. Being reminded by this story that it was a very difficult time for Mary and Joseph, defiantly gives me perspective.
    My life is good, I am blessed with an amazing family, a good job, a roof over my head, and food on my table. What could I possibly need right? I need Jesus! To know and have faith of what he endured for me, that he came to this earth for me.
    At a time when I needed encouragement the most, I read your blog! Thank you for sharing this Alicia! Please know that you all are in our prayers this holiday season! Sorry for such a long response, just very touched by your blog! By the way, we may have two cows to donate to Hefer International!!!!
    Merry Christmas!

    1. Thanks for that heartfelt reflection, Keith. Cows in the backyard in the middle of the night can lead to some serious reflection! 😉 Proof that God uses anything and everything to grab our attention. Grateful for how you shared your heart here. Grateful to call you family.

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